I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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