hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
