Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
