Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
