Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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