my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
