so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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