PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
