how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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