my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
