Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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