i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
