you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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