a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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