Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
