There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
