Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Still dying that you shit outside
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Dick very happy bro
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
