this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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