Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
