belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
