What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I don't want my vagina anymore.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
