True but thats because hes a fetus.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
