I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i dont even know how to be here
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
