So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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