That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
