Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
