I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
