I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
there is puke in my bra ... again
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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