Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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