Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
