Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
