Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize