I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
