also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
