I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
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i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
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We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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