Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize