My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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