I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
