I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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