Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
