that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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