Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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