fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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