she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
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Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
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The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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