I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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