S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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