Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
babies were throwing up all over the place
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
