Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
where does the pee come out of this thing
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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