im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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