maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
