i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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