in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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