Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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