in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize