i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
