i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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