i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I have already put on my inside pants.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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