I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
