Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i just had sex bonerless
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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