I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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